As some of you know, I manage social media channels for some of my clients. It’s the reason why I’m “here” so much… well that and I really like the attention you give me. Anyway, over the years I’ve seen countless lists, rules, commandments, etc.. for social media use. I’ve made a few of my own for business but here’s my version for the general public (that’s you! you’re the general public) Enjoy, and more importantly follow them!!
1. Don’t be a dick.
2. Stop whining about your life.
3. If you’re going to whine about your life, give me all the juicy details. No more vague statements that force me to engage and ask questions. Tell ALL in an epically detailed rant.. or shaddup about it.
3. Don’t you tell me that I’m on FB too much. The fact that you know how much I’m on FB tells me you’re on it just as much. (Just because you don’t post doesn’t mean you’re not here creeping. I’m onto you motherf*$%er!)
4. The complaints about the invites to candyfarm jewelcrushville and the actual invites are equally stupid. Just play your games and don’t tell anyone. It’s embarrassing for all of us.
5. Don’t be a duck.
6. Or a dick.
7. Let autocorrect take the wheel sometimes… it could work out, (see rule #5)
7. Don’t pay attention to my numbering… ever. (See rules 3,3, and 7, and 7…shit!)
9. Don’t poke me just because its an option. Decaf coffee is also an option… doesn’t make it ok.
8. Unfollow/unfriend whoever you want. Just don’t post an announcement about it. People getting publicly shamed makes me sad. #sadface
9. Never be sarcastic, (see what I did there?)
10. Post funny shit as much as possible, and #extrabonuspoints for inappropriately and/or ironically used #hashtags.